I've never hesitated when it's come to having a photographer in my delivery room. There's something so amazing about being able to look back at these pictures and relive the beauty and special feelings that surrounded that day. We're so lucky to have had Carrie Lashelle Photography there to capture these precious moments and to willingly be on speed dial waiting for Daisy's arrival. So... on with the birth story...shall we?
At midnight my water broke and I basically quarantined myself to my bathroom because with every contraction came a little bit more fluid..TMI? I seriously walked around my bathroom with a towel stuffed in my underwear. My OCD was out of control! I let my hubby sleep while I waited for contractions to get closer together and sure enough about 2 hours later I was starting to feel like things had moved along enough to wake my sleeping prince. He jumped out of bed and started getting our girls ready to go back to sleep at their Aunt and Uncle's house. We dropped them off and hurried over the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital at about 3:15 am and there wasn't a single soul delivering when we arrived. The parking lot was empty and the halls were quiet. All the nurses jumped to it when we showed up and immediately got us in the delivery room and started to get everything prepped. One of the nurses checked my dilation and to all of our surprise I was at a 7 to 8. I seriously was in complete shock. Thank goodness I took hypnobirthing, otherwise I'm pretty sure I never would have progressed that far on my own. They gave me the option to get an epidural and because of my hesitation in decision making, it was too late and I had no choice but to deliver naturally. The Dr. was on his way to the hospital and I sat in the hospital bed still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I was actually going to push this baby out of me without pain meds. My contractions weren't painful, just uncomfortable, and with every one I had to concentrate on my breathing and relax.
When the Dr. finally arrived I was checked again and was dilated to a 9. That's when things started to get real. Really uncomfortable, really painful, and it no longer felt good to sit down. Through the last few contractions, to fully dilate, I stood up. Mike was my support and I hugged him and tried to relax. I rocked a bit and hummed and moaned and pretty sure I looked like a complete weirdo to anyone else in the room. Do what you gotta do right?
Then it hit...that feeling of major pressure and it was totally time to push this kid out. It was about 4:00 am by this point and there were plastic sheets draped on the floor and the table and the Dr. was dressed like he was about to weld an art project. It was like a scene from Dexter in my delivery room, and I didn't care one bit. I'm not going to lie, it all hurt like crazy but even more than that I was scared. Fear overwhelmed me. Fear that I wouldn't have the strength to get her out. Fear that I would literally be torn in half, and that in itself made me tense up. One of the nurses, who was so kind to let me squeeze her hand with every push, told me to push through the pain...easier said than done, but that's what I did. And with a few pushes that included me screaming like from the movies, everyone in the room cheering me on, and a prayer in my heart, she was out. All the pain floats away and the only thing that matters is that sweet little babe being placed on my chest.
There's a peace that consumes a delivery room when a baby is born. I like to think that Heavenly Father is there watching. Even though the baby is crying, all is calm. And just like that your heart grows a little bigger to make room for another little babe that means the world to you. You don't care that your hoo-haa is hanging out for all the world to see and that your chest is completely exposed so you can get your baby to latch to nurse. All that matters to you is your new baby and hearing them breath and squeal and fuss. They've been separated from you for the first time in their tiny lives and yet all you want is for them to be back with you.
Sadly, I hemorrhaged after delivery and lost a lot of blood. I felt weak and hot and then cold and then hot. I had no strength. I was queazy. The nurses hooked me up to an IV and pumped me full of fluid. My blood pressure would drop and then spike and as much as I wanted to hold Daisy and care for her, I felt so awful that I couldn't. I wasn't able to stand without feeling faint until later that afternoon. And that night I received a blood transfusion and 2 units of blood. Not a fun experience, but it makes me even more grateful that I was in the hospital and under the care of professionals who truly cared for my well being and health.
Here we are 2 weeks later and I look back at these pictures and I'm amazed that all of this happened. I'm amazed that my delivery was so quick, that my body had the strength to do what it did, and that Daisy is here in my arms and is healthy and happy. I'm overwhelmed by the love I was shown from the nurses who cared so much about my comfort and healing. The delivery was like a dream. I almost can't even believe that it happened and that my mind and body had the strength to deliver without medication. I owe so much to my husband for standing by my side and hold my hand while I screamed in pain. He cheered me on and whispered to me how proud he was of what I was able to do. So much love for that amazing man!
