Saturday, July 7, 2018

Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance Book Review


by
Ruth Emmie Lang

Pretty darn sure I've never written a book review, however, with my recent interest in reading ever book on the planet I figured it was time to share my opinion.  I mean, I can't be the only one who reads book reviews on Amazon right?

When trying to decide on a book to read for my first month's book club I came across this book on a friend's Instagram story and thought I'd look into it more.  Well, not only did it get rave reviews on Amazon but it was sold out in store in my local Barnes and Noble AND the libraries closest to me didn't have the book in stock.  Was this a great sign? Yes, yes it was.  I ordered on Amazon and dug right in when it arrived.  Now I understand the hype.  

This book was just what I needed to read this summer.  A story about friendship, connecting to nature, and most of all accepting our own differences and letting those differences shine.  Weylyn is the shining hero of this novel.  He was born with a special connection to the universe.  His emotions can control the weather and he has a unique talent in communicating with animals.  If that doesn't spark your interest I don't know what will.  Through the book we meet some of his friends, family members, and work associates.  People who find out about his one of a kind characteristics and how they react to his talents.  I'll admit, there were a few characters I liked more than others but each person in the story brought out more information about Weylyn and truly, Weylyn is what it's all about.  He's the kind of character you want to be friends with in real life.  He's the person you want to know more about and pick his brain about what he's thinking and how he's feeling...although the constant change in weather pretty much gives it away as to what he's feeling.

It's hard to pin point just one reason as to why I loved this book but I've narrowed it down to one for ya anyway.  One word kept coming to mind when I was reading. Connection.  Whether that's connection to self, others, or the world around you, this book brought out my thoughts about connection.  How to be open and honest with the people I love.  How to look deeper into nature and listen to the sounds of what's around you.  How to be still in a world that's full of noise and movement. 

Weylyn's story taught me to love the differences we all have.  Sometimes its hard to get to know people who aren't quite like us, but Weylyn's differences brought out the good in others so many times within this book.  I couldn't help but think what amazing things could happen in our day if we gave people a chance and really admired one another's differences.

All in all this is a must read.  A five star!  I'll be recommending this book to just about everyone.  It's an easy, quick, and happy read.  Get your nose in a book!


Friday, May 11, 2018

Ireland and Scotland Travel

In short, this 10 day trip was packed full of beautiful scenery, kind people, and good food. In the long scheme of things this trip taught me more about myself than any other trip I've ever gone on.  It's funny how getting away from all the day to day reality opens your eyes to a whole new perspective on life, on what makes you tick, and what's really necessity rather than an unneeded want.

I planned this trip over months and months.  I researched and read more reviews than I thought was possible. I packed more into each day than most would feel comfortable doing but the whole goal was to be able to see and do as much as humanly possible in 10 days.  I can honestly say, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! There was literally no downtime whatsoever and more driving than I care to admit.  But we came, we saw, and we for sure conquered! 

IRELAND

Ireland in early spring is full of rolling green hills of grass filled with little specks of white sheep as far as the eye can see.  Hedges line the divide between land ownership, and daffodils have bloomed here and there and everywhere.  The country roads are narrow and empty and winde through the tree lined streets.  Every hour or so a distant town appears on the horizon and as you drive closer in to view, the town is filled with small colorful shops and pubs.  Every town has a few things in common, adorable buildings, old cathedrals, and small peaceful cemeteries.  There's maybe one or two stop lights in the whole town, maybe a gas station that hopefully has a public toilet, and then nothing but country roads once again as you leave. Road signs are in Gaelic and then English and there's just as many signs for castles as there are sheep. 

We arrived in Dublin and took a quick drive through the city only to realize that it was really busy and hardly any parking.  We luckily found a spot to park so we could walk around and head over to the Old Library at Trinity College.  A must see for any book lover!  The history within those library shelves is bone chilling. We then drove out to the Cliffs of Moher.  Another great must see BUT I will say, we bought a ticket thinking it was necessary and it really isn't to see the cliffs.  The ticket is really to walk around inside the museum they have on site and it can easily be missed if you're trying to save a few bucks.  I kinda wish we hadn't bought one. The Cliffs of Moher are majestic.  No photo can truly do them justice and while I took plenty of them, there's just no comparison to the real deal.  After a bit of walking the cliffs we drove up to Galway and stayed the night at The Claregalway Hotel. We would stay here again and again.  The in house restaurant was delicious and the people were so kind.  But beyond that, we slept like logs. It was quiet, comfortable, and reasonably close to the main city.

In the morning we drove into Galway City to Eyre Square and arrived when the shops were just opening. The small streets were empty but beginning to slowly fill with guided tours and street acts.  We popped into Griffin's Bakery and had breakfast upstairs in the restaurant.  One of our favorite places we ate at. The eggs benedict was so good and the mini Irish breakfast was the perfect size and packed full of traditional favorites. After a walk around the shops we got back on the road and headed north to Derry.  This drive is quite long and its rare to find a toilet so make sure to stop when you see one cause who knows when you'll see another.  Or better yet, pack some toilet paper in case you need to just pull over and duck behind a hedge.

The drive was beautiful and along the way you'll see lots of signs for castles, hikes, and picnic areas.  We drove past a lot cause we were bound and determined to get north but for sure stop if you have the time.

Along the northern coast of Ireland there's a hand full of things to do.  Starting with Dunluce Castle, a beautiful castle ruin right on a cliff.  We missed the time to walk around inside but the castle itself is gorgeous to see just from the outside.  Stop and walk around, you'll be glad you did.  Just a few more miles down the road is Giant's Causeway.  This is another attraction in which you DON'T have to buy a ticket for.  If you want a headset tour or to see the small stories and museums inside the visitor center...be my guest. We arrived after they closed and just walked down the pathway to the beach.  It was gorgeous and honestly because we arrived after hours is was pretty empty, which made for better views and better pictures.

A few more miles down the road is Carrick-a-rede bridge.  Definitely buy a ticket to walk the bridge.  The views from the island are stunning, but if you're not up to it you'll still enjoy the small hike/walk around the area.  In the same area just west of the visitor's center is a location Game of Thrones was filmed.  It's basically an empty lot but again, if that tickles your fancy then by all means check it out.


Lastly a few miles from the bridge is the Dark Hegdes.  This is a must see.  These trees are ginormous and the walk beneath them is so peaceful.  I'd say hit this up first thing in the morning to miss the crowds and then make your way through the rest of the spots more north.

We stayed in Belfast on our second night in Ireland and while the hotel was in a great location it was hella noisy.  So I'm not going to recommend where to stay.  However, we did eat dinner at the most delicious place on the planet.  Funny story is we got a taxi to go into downtown because we were told the parking is a bit of an issue.  Our taxi driver, Will, was the nicest and funniest taxi driver in basically all of Belfast...we checked.  We asked him where he would recommend going and first thing he did was call his wife on the blue tooth speaker.  We were dying at their conversation.  She giving suggestions and he being surprised and appalled at her replies.  In the end he told us about an Italian restaurant called Villa Italia.  It's been around for a long time and its family friendly but really all we cared about was that it was good.  Well holly hell this place blew my mind.  Not only was the portion size bigger than my head but the food was so incredibly good that I HAD to finish my entire bowl of pasta.  I was stuffed to the gills and not mad about it one bit.  From the hotel we walked toward city centre and then walked the Titanic Trail.  It takes you through the streets of the city and then toward the water and ends at the Titanic Museum which was close to where we stayed that night.

The next morning we headed to the Titanic Museum.  We were told by multiple people it was a must see and while sure, it was interesting, I wasn't too impressed.  I was more impressed with the design of the building and the plaques and information on the grounds.  If you're trying to save a buck skip the museum and walk around the grounds.  You can also just purchase a ticket to the S.S Nomadic which is the only White Star Line Ship left on Earth that isn't thousands of feet under the sea.  It's a much better glimpse inside what the Titanic passengers experienced when boarding the ship and it was by far more interesting than the museum. SOOOORRRRRYYYYY.  Best part, it was right next door to the museum.

That night we flew out of Belfast International which was a zoo of an airport and flew into Glasgow, Scotland.  Keep in mind when flying from Ireland to Scotland that there's a one hour time difference.  We missed that tiny detail. Oops. We stayed in the center of the city at a hotel I'll never step foot in again so sorry no recommendation.

That morning we drove out to Finnich Glen.  There aren't great directions on how to get there so here is a pin on Google maps that should do the trick.  Full disclosure, it was super muddy and if it weren't for our waterproof hiking boots you'd have to skip it so come prepared! you'll see a small area to park on the left hand side or you can drive up a bit til you reach a fork in the road and you can park along the road there.  You'll notice many posted signs about where you CAN'T park so beware.  Again, get there early morning and you'll miss the crowds.  When we arrived there wasn't a soul insight.  It's a bit of a walk till you see the stairs down into the glen but you can't miss them.

Glasgow City is full of old and historical buildings.  Don't miss the Glasgow Cathedral.  It's beautiful inside and out and when you're done walking around there make sure to head up the hill behind it see the view of the city through the headstones of the cemetery.  It's peaceful and really quite astounding how old some of the headstones are.

Walking around the city was really fun.  There's a main shopping area that's filled to the brim with department stores and designer wear.  Free art museums and cafes.  We stopped for a late breakfast/lunch at Singl-end Cafe and Bakery and just loved the atmosphere and the food.  Seriously look at all that food!

That night we drove out to Loch Lomond and stayed in an AirBnB for the night.  This place was so quaint and quiet.  It overlooked the Loch and just outside the back of the cottage was a small creak.  Talk about a perfect morning!  Our drive up to Ilse of Skye was again, pretty long but also beautiful.  Winding roads and waterfalls all along the way. Stop as much as possible as there are picturesque views and hikes for miles. The landscape was quite surprising as I thought we would be in rolling green hills like in Ireland.  However, Scotland is rugged and mountainous and rocky.  Boulders here and there.  Waterfalls drop between ridges from the mountaintops and evergreen tree forests span for miles.  Moss covers the rocks with white, green, and grey, and the fences are all faded from rain and mist.

Right before you drive onto Skye is Darnie where Eileen Donan Castle stands on it's own small island.  You may recognize it from a movie called Maid of Honor with Patrick Dempsey.  Major chick flick, but the castle was used as a residence in the film.  Anyway, the castle is amazing and fully restored.  Make conversation with the sweet Scottish men in the dining area.  They are full of knowledge and love the questions.

Onto Skye you'll pass by Broadford which is a cute little town on the water.  We ate lunch at a darling restaurant called Sia.  Right next door, however, is the Isle of Skye Candle Company and you must stock up on the yummiest smelling candles made right there in Skye. my favorite was the Frankincense and Myrrh.  Keep driving north and you'll run into Portree.  It's again, a small town that's buildings are picturesque and the small shops are adorable.  We ate one night in town at Dulce and Brose.  Yummy food, really cool vibe, and great view of the water.


We stayed two nights on Skye because honestly there's just so much to see and do that the two nights were needed.  The AirBnB we stayed at was the best in all the land.  It's quite a ways up north in Waternish but the hosts are the sweetest people.  More than helpful in tips on where to go and when.  They provide breakfast which was so yummy and the view from their place was breathtaking.  Even better, depending on when you go you can even catch the northern lights.  We sadly missed the northern lights by just days.

Our first day on Skye we made our way around the main Island.  First was the Fairy Glen.  There are plenty of directions on how to get there but if you're a bit iffy on driving you can always purchase tickets through a sightseeing bus that drives around everywhere on the Island and hits up every last little thing to see when you're there.  The glen was even more beautiful than I had imagined.  Explore every last little area.

Our second stop was the Quirang.  Really easy hike but the sights were more amazing than I could have imagined.  We were told later that this was the area that inspired the BFG movie location.  On down the road is Kilt Rock and then lunch at Skye Pie.  This tiny meat pie shop only makes a certain amount of pies a day and once they're gone they're gone so get there right when they open (noon) to make sure you don't miss out.  The meat pies were yummy and the dessert pies were just beyond scrumptious. Across the street from the pie shop is a small dirt road that leads down to the ocean.  The whole trail looks like you're trespassing but rest assured there's no such thing in Scotland.  You can hop fences, walk trails to no where, and you won't get in trouble for trespassing cause there's no such thing.  Anyway, it's quite a steep hike down but the views are worth it.

One your way back around to Waternish you'll pass the Old Man of Storr on your right.  It's also a steep hike and if I'm being honest...which I always am, the view is far better from the side of the mountain down on the road.  Once you hike up it's just not the same.  But by all means, DO THE HIKE!!

On our last day on Skye we hiked the Old Man of Storr and then hiked the Fairy Pools.  Keep your eyes peeled for waterfalls along the way and for cute shaggy cows too.  After our hikes we drove out to Inverness.  Another beautiful drive passing Loch Ness and the Urquhart Castle.  Definitely stop to visit the castle and make time for the guided tours.  They're full of history and answer so many questions.  PLUS, if you plan on visiting more castles throughout your time in Scotland you should look into purchasing the Explorer Pass which allows you to visit a number of castles and sights in Scotland and saves you tons!  We loved having this and really made for some huge savings in the end.

Inverness is beautiful.  The town is small and is filled with Cathedrals. Inverness Castle sits at the top of the hill as you drive in and one second you're in the heart of the city and the next you're in the suburbs.  We stayed just outside of the city.  It was a 15 minute walk to city center from our Bed and Breakfast, so not too far.  We loved the Bed and Breakfast we stayed at.  It was really cozy and clean and the breakfast was really good and belly filling.  I'd stay there again in a heartbeat.  Inverness has so much historical sights nearby that it really makes for a perfect central location to stay.  Our first night there we ate at a delicious restaurant called Fig and Thistle and the food was spectacular.

Our first day's agenda in Inverness was a drive to Culloden Battlefield.  We arrived just in time for a guided tour and the information was so humbling and so sad.  The poor Scotts got slaughtered and the history that was a result of that battle loss changed Scotland forever.  A few minutes way was the Clava Cairns.  Standing stones and ancient burial grounds.  Also a lot of really fascinating history.  Make sure to walk down the road a bit more for bigger standing stones and old church ruins.  We then headed back to Urquhart castle because sadly we missed opening hours the day before.  I'm telling you, everything pretty much closes by 6 pm so plan accordingly.

The next morning we explored the city and saw so many cute shops.  One of my favorites was Leakey's Bookshop.  Floor to ceiling is lines with books and old artwork.  Make sure you have the time to spend in there cause I would have stayed all day if I could have.  We headed back on the road down towards Stirling Castle, our first real stop for the day.  The castle was beautiful and again, the guided tours are a must.  We learned all about each stage the castle took throughout history and the huge impact that one castle had on the entire standing of the Country.

Right across the valley is the William Wallace Monument.  If you've never seen Braveheart, I recommend watching it before going to Scotland.  It's beautifully done and really helped make more sense of the millions of battles that took place between Scotland and England back in the day. But the William Wallace Monument has really breathtaking views once you climb up the 200 some odd stairs.  It's a calve workout but worth it.  Also they have his actual sword on display there and it's crazy how big it stands.  We then drove down to Edinbrugh which is the cutest big city.  Giant buildings, colorful shop facades, and...you guessed it, cathedrals a plenty.

Just before arriving in Edinbrugh we stopped by a small town called Culross in Fife.  It is probably the tiniest town I've ever visited.  The homes are all tiny and have tiny doors.  The roads are cobblestone and the doors and buildings range in colors of the rainbow.  It's a must see.  Walk the streets, stop in the shops, and observe the sweet little townspeople going about their days.

We stayed that night at Murrayfield which was really cozy and beautiful but is a renovated old building.  No central air, so it got quite stuffy in our room but they do proved a fan.  The in house restaurant was really quite good. We not only ate there for dinner but also breakfast the next morning.

Our first day in Edinbrugh was a stop at Edinbrugh Castle.  This was one of my favorites.  They have so much to look at and many of the rooms have been redone to look like they would have hundred of years ago.  They also have the 1 o'clock cannon which is really cool to see.  I'm not sure if there are days when they don't do it so maybe worth looking that up.  This castle is really touristy, however, so we skipped the guided tours due to the fact that we couldn't actually hear the guide from the crowds of people.

We walked a bit through the city and had a little bite to eat before we headed down to royal mile to Hollyrood Palace.  Now, this was a must see in my opinion because this Palace actually houses the Queen every July.  So walking the halls and the gardens was really quite amazing.  Everyone gets a headset tour that explains each room and it's purpose and history.  To walk from castle to castle is about 20 minutes so I would advise parking down at Hollyrood where the parking is A LOT LESS EXPENSIVE and walking up to the Edinbrugh castle.  You'll have lots of shopping opportunities and the small side streets are really beautiful as well.  That night we ate at Makars and really enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere and really good food.  It's just around the corner from the Royal Mile so it's super easy to find.

We left the next morning out of Edinbrugh and truly I didn't want to leave.  Traveling always brings a sense of enlightenment.  I found myself sitting in the airport and reminiscing about the lessons learned.  I never want to loose the desire to explore.  Throughout our hikes I found myself wanting to see what was just beyond that rock or just beyond the next grassy hill.  That desire to see more and experience more is something I hope to never let dwindle within me. There is so much to see and think about all we would be able to enjoy if we just went a little farther down the path than we had planned.

My eyes were also opened to the beauty of what can happen when your phone is turned off.  I seem to turn to my phone out of boredom.  When I'm looking for ways to pass the time, I pick up my phone.  There's no doubt that I've missed moments with friends and family because my nose was pointed downward at technology. There were very few times on our travels when we saw anyone on their phones.  I mean we were at dinner and Mike and I both looked around us to notice not a single person in the ENTIRE restaurant was on their phone. Everyone was deep into conversation and every single person was happy and relaxed.  Now I'm not saying that these people don't have issues or stresses in their lives but from what we noticed, their attention wasn't on the workplace, or the deadline, but it was centered and focused on the people who surrounded them.  They visited for hours and laughed and leaned in toward each other.  THAT, my friends, is what matters most in life.  The people who are closest to you are the people you should be investing in.  Now, when I go out to dinner with my girlfriends, family, or anyone really, my phone will not be dining with me.  I'll be putting my phone on airplane mode a lot more often so I can watch my children imagine and play.  I'll fill my time with adventure or learning instead of wasted scrolling. Maybe as Americans we really need to reevaluate why we are all depressed, miserable, and care only about money and riches.

Maybe the real key to happiness is learning from history, exploring with family, and having a few sheep.


































Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Boho master bedroom reveal

 Our master bedroom was the 'dump all' area of our home for years.  It's somehow the place we fold our laundry, remove our shoes, change diapers, relax, and watch movies.  While for many folks their kitchen is the heart of they home, our master bedroom was ours, and I HATED it. I hated that the place I wanted to escape to or relax in was always such a hot mess. It had piles of crap everywhere and laundry bins took over the floors.  Instead of returning to my room at the end of the day to unwind I'd walk into my room and had a never ending list of more things to do.  I had to clean up my room before actually laying down to sleep. It was the worst.  So my goal in redecorating our master was more than just hanging things on the wall and making pillows.  It was actually creating a space I felt relaxed in.  It was rewriting the purpose of my room from the catch all place to my own safe haven.  
I really wanted the eclectic feel of our house to carry over into our bedroom.  I love that though everything in our home isn't matchy matchy it still flows together. It makes sense together.  So, I went with a bohemian eclectic feel.  I brought in the inspiration of things that bring me peace from the outdoors, inside our room.  I want to be surrounded by the color of water and lots and lots of plants.  Am I hippie?  Maybe.  
Wood was also a big thing I wanted to incorporate.  We were given a beautiful antique hutch which my husband refinished last year.  He uses it as his dresser, and I wanted to pull the colors from the gorgeous wood tones it has into other parts of the room.  Those brown and orange tones were what inspired our headboard.  We made the headboard using a tutorial years ago and only cost us a little over $100...and in the beginning it was a light grey faux suede.  We loved it...and then we moved into our new home two years ago and it was the exact color of the walls in the room.  It just didn't stand out anymore and so the idea to reupholster it came to mind.  Poor Mike was NOT into the idea.  But he WAS into the idea that it would only cost $20 and some elbow grease. Marrying a handyman...and a very patient man...has paid off these past ten years.



 My bed pillows were like a vision that came to life...thanks to indigo dye.  A while back I took an Indigo dying class from Miranda @livefreemiranda and I just fell in love with the process, the outcome, and the beautiful blue hues.  I made them from cotton dishcloths and an indigo dye kit.  it was so easy and the dishcloths I didn't end up using for the pillows are now residing in my kitchen. I even sewed them!!!! GASP!!! I don't sew. The end. So this just goes to show you just how cheap I am...cause I'm sure I could have found some gorgeous pillows made from mud cloth, but the DIYer in me couldn't resist saving a buck.

 I huge goal I had in my room was to be organized.  Hence the purchase of an earring and necklace holder.  To think I never had one before makes me blush with embarrassment.  Why did I go so long without these gorgeous and purposeful things?  I also I had the hubby make me some essential oil holders.  They're just a stump of wood, sanded down, with a few drilled holes and, voila! New life to an old dead piece of wood.

 Lastly are my love for plants.  My advice for newbies to the plant lady life is to invest in some snake plants.  You can find them at Home Depot, Lowes, and even Ikea!  They require low light and low water.  I only water them once a week and they do great!

Most importantly, when I talk about redoing areas of my home I have to clarify that this didn't cost me thousands of dollars.  I spent about $200 on everything from my jewelry holders to plants to new bedding.  It wasn't about getting new things per say. It was more about creating a space that I love so that my motivation to keep it looking like these photos is higher.  No, it doesn't always stay this clean but when it is this clean it's like a breath of fresh air to my soul.  That's the goal with decorating.  Creating a space that brings you joy and happiness and I finally have that in our master bedroom.


Friday, November 10, 2017

10 years, 10 lessons learned

 I'm still amazed it's been TEN years since I said yes to this guy.  Time flies, especially when you're busy building a life with someone you love.  I'd never claim to be an expert on marriage or the like, but I've learned a lot these past ten years.  Many lessons learned had to do with my own internal battles while others were lessons we had to learn together.  But with ten years under our marriage belt, I thought I share a few of the things we have grown to understand a deeper meaning of.

1. Communication is Key

It's a pretty obvious lesson, right?  You're married so you should probably talk to each other.  But if we are being honest...which we are, let's talk about what I mean.  Talk about EVERYTHING with the person you're sharing your life with.  I know it's not always easy to pour your heart out to someone in fear of being judged but in this case we aren't talking about someone, we're talking about THAT someone.  The someone you chose to share everything with.  So share it!! I've learned to not hold back when it comes to sharing a piece of my mind.  Of course I think it through first because the objective isn't to hurt the other person's feelings but it IS to share what it is that's on your mind. If that means you write it all down first as to figure out what it is you really are wanting to say, then do that first.  I'm pretty blunt when it comes to my words and there's no doubt I've hurt other's feeling because of it.  When there's something on my mind that's been bugging me I write out what I want to say before I say it.  I figure out what can be left out, as to not hurt my hubby's feelings, and then we talk about it.  And we talk about it until we feel it's resolved.  It's makes our time together more pleasant because we aren't hiding what we want to say to each other.

2. Share the Load

Thankfully I married someone who shares the same ideals with me when it comes to gender roles...meaning we don't believe there are any.  I help him with what he needs help with and the same goes for him.  No one says that's your job in our house!  We help one another out.  Whether that applies to making dinner or patching holes in the walls.  We share the load...whatever it may be and we don't hesitate to ask for help.  It's a small part of what makes our days run a bit smoother.

3. Accept the Unchangeable

There's no doubt we all have our ideas of what would make a perfect spouse.  But I hope we all have understood that there's no such thing.  For instance, my perfect spouse would put his shoes away where they belong...hint hint. But what I've come to learn is that I can't change something in someone else.  I can encourage and uplift the other person in something I wish to see but the nagging and putting down doesn't do anyone any good.  I would feel like dirt if I was constantly reminded that I don't do things the way the other person prefers.  Accepting that there are things I can't change makes our day to day happier.  I can always encourage or ask kindly but I've tried to move past the 'ugh I wish you would just...' words because those are hurtful.  They bring awareness to the fact that we aren't doing what the other person WISHES we would do.

4. Listen

We all have ears so we should use them.  It can be really hard to sit down and really hash out a problem.  Sometimes our problems don't make sense to the other person but when we listen it means we care.  I've had to learn to shut my mouth and just listen.  To not give advice or criticism but to just listen and be the person he has come to to share.

5. Be a Friend

Aside from being the one they love, they also chose to marry you because you're a friend.  No doubt Mike is my best friend.  I go to him about anything because I know he sees me as the same, a nonjudgemental friend.  A friend is someone who supports you in your endeavors, is honest with you, gives you encouragement, and is there for you no matter what.  Being that kind of friend isn't always easy but if there's no friendship, there's no love either.

 6. Learn to Apologize

I mean, if we are being honest, we all know the wife is always right. Ha ha ha.  Ok in all seriousness, it's really hard sometimes to say you're sorry...even if it's not your fault.  But things resolve much quicker and easier if you apologize to one another.  It doesn't even have to be admitting to be wrong either!  But, I've learned that usually...even if I'm right I may have reacted wrongly or I didn't listen to his side.  And those all require an honest apology.  "I'm sorry for the way I reacted." "I'm sorry I said..." "I apologize for not seeing your side." These all help to resolve feelings that shouldn't be present when trying to resolve issues.

7. Compromise

It's key.  Not one person is a winner or loser in a marriage.  If I don't want to do something or go somewhere, we compromise.  If he doesn't want to eat there or watch that, we compromise.  That means I don't always get my way and that's ok because in the end, I love him and as much as I want to be happy I want him to be happy too.  Sometimes that means taking turns choosing and if that makes us both happy, then it's a win.

8. Date Night

Before we were married and living under one roof we dated to get to know each other.  Today the same applies.  We both have changed over the years.  Our stresses and daily life have changed.  Dating each other brings back those feelings of getting to know each other better.  Sure we talk about the kids and the business and the day to day things that need to be done around the house, but we also try to rekindle the love and feelings we had when we started dating.  He opens the door for me, I hold his hand, we have a fun night alone and happy feelings grow.

9. No one is Perfect

Pretty self explanatory on this one.  We are well aware that we, ourselves, aren't perfect but I've noticed that when I've realized that perfection isn't expected from the other person I'm much more accepting of the other person.  We're not over zealous in what we wish would be done.  We're more lenient on time and expectations.  Perfection is what makes us most unhappy because there's just no such thing in a marriage.

10. Sex IS Important

There, I said it.  And seriously for years I was the last person on earth who would ever admit to it.  But the last year, yes ONE YEAR, has opened my eyes.  Maybe it had to do with turning thirty or maybe my hormones decided to actually do what they were supposed to but I've been enjoying being intimate with my husband.  I'm getting real here people!! I used to hate sex and I'm covering my face in shame.  Now I say that out loud and it makes  me want to cry.  What a special thing we have the opportunity to share with our spouse and I'm over here saying no thanks! Well all that has changed now because my mindset has changed.  When we are alone I'm able to look over at my hubby and see the man I want to show my love to.  And I want him to feel that kind of love the way he best understands it...which for most men, is physically.  When we spend that time together I know that he knows that I love and appreciate him.  That I'm still physically attracted to  him and that our love is more than just verbally saying it.  I've also come to understand that communication is just as important in bed.  Talk about what you like and dislike and listen to the other person so both of you can enjoy the experience.  It's taken way too long for me to get to this point and gosh I hope I'm not the only one who's been there.  When kids come along and the days are endless it's rough to even feel like physically showing your love but I've made it a priority.  Why?  Because we are a happier couple when we've shown each other that kind of love.  We smile more, laugh more, hug more, joke more, and are all around just MORE in love with each other.  Gosh I would love to dive more deeply into this but I'll just leave it at that.

Marriage isn't always sunshine and rainbows.  And even though I've written out all these lessons learned, I'm still learning everyday.  I'm still having to relearn what I just wrote down.  But that's the great thing about marriage.  This person loves you and accepts you for all the good and bad.  So when we grow and improve ourselves, more love and acceptance is given. Here's to ten years Mike!  Grateful for everyday with you!!

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Deck Before and After

I bet you can't guess why we love our new deck so much. Ha Ha.  Obviously from this before picture it's pretty easy to guess why.  This house just called for a deck and what we had was a small landing held on by a few screws no less, and stairs down to nothing.  We wanted a place to relax, to socialize when we had company over, and a place our kids could play that still felt close by.  Well, the husband delivered.  After months and months of watching youtube videos and researching deck building he went to town and built our deck from the ground up. 

Rewind a few months since this project started we called upon some contractors for a quote to see what we needed to save up so we could make this deck dream come true.  Want to know the scary number they quoted us? Do ya? Really?  They gave us a quote of $25,000-$30,000 dollars.  Say what?  Mike and I both giggled when they told us.  I mean there's no way.  We might as well just buy a new house that already has a deck.  When the contractors left I turned to Mike and said, "You know what I think? I think YOU can build a deck for way cheaper." I was right, like usual, duh. We spent just under $5,000 to build our dream deck.  And I'm so proud to say that Mike built it.
Check out THAT before and after.  What a difference this has made in the appearance of our yard.  Yes, the plants are small now but you wait a few years and they'll be a few feet higher and our deck will look like it's just hovering next to our house. Also, I must say, I did my best to stage this so it looked perfect but honestly...our deck will never look perfect.  It's a place where the kids play.  It's where I hide underneath to escape the sun while the girls run through the sprinklers.  So, tidy is what I aimed for and that's what you'll find most of the time. 
Below you'll find me fake laughing and being an idiot because that's what I do when my sister is the one taking my photo. But in all seriousness she's an amazing photographer and I'm blessed I get to reap the benefits of her talent. Check her out here and give her some love.
I looked for a while to find the perfect outdoor seating that not only fit our budget ($1,000) but also fit our space and aesthetic.  It was a lot harder than I thought.  Unlike indoor furniture that comes in every shape and color under the sun...outdoor furniture basically comes in five colors and is either a million dollars and you'd have to sell your first born to afford it or it's really cheap and won't last under the extreme seasons of Utah.  I stumbled upon this sectional on the classifieds and luckily it was a brand new piece that a furniture business was selling. Plus it was under our budget ($895). WIN!! The rug was a steal on Rugs USA and it just made sense with the look and lines of the deck.
It warms my heart to look outside our back door and see our kids playing on this deck that my husband spent hours and hours building.  They love it so much and I love them so much so there's a lot of love happening here.  The girls have brought their doll house out on this deck and played for hours on it.  They set up bubbles for Daisy and jump around trying to pop them all.  They help me water my plants and gosh my heart could explode at how happy we all are out here.


These trays were a DIY must.  I could not for the life of me find an outdoor side table that I liked.  Maybe I'm picky...or maybe I'm just cheap and I can't spend over $50 on a side table.  So, these side tables are actually stools from IKEA for $5 and a tray from IKEA that I glued on top. They're amazing, stable, and can withstand the wear and tear from my destructive children.
Here are all the links to the items I could find online. Now, who wants to come party on my deck with me?

Rug isn't available anymore but just in case here is the item number XMP11468 in Silver